Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Spank Dance (or Tatting Ass)

For my good friend, Nuke

In my last post, I confused some people with some lingo . . . I guess I really am too hip for this blogging business. ;) But tatting ass is what I have always referred to when discussing major dorks on the dance floor pretending to be behind a girl - or other guy - and spanking their ass, sometimes in rhythm to the music - but most of the time not. Some major douche bags do it to emphasize a point, sans dance floor - like, "Yeah, she really wants my jock!!" followed by the spank dance. I even think there is a handbook out there - revised for 2008 - that includes the steps to total douchedom . . .

1. Say, "That's what she said!!!"

2. Bite bottom lip and limply nod your head, cocked to one side.

3. Tat that ass!! (Remember - keep mouth slightly open the whole time - preferably lip curled to one side)

Some stupid - namely wasted - girls will try to pull off the same dance with their friends to make them look sexy at the club. But usually the front girl just falls over and the girl doing the tatting feels really bad and starts crying on the dance floor and wishes she had just made out with her friend instead, like every other smart slut out there.

Here's a video that showcases some guys making fun of another guy's Spank Dance. I mean, cause they are way cooler, obviously.

I hope I've cleared this up a little.

As for scratching records, here is a picture of some cute kids learning how to scratch records at a DJ camp in New York City

Now imagine the aforementioned wastoid pretending to do the same thing on his friend's bald head, adding a audible, "wicka, wicka" at inappropriate and ridiculous times in otherwise quite enjoyable music. Then pumping his fist and pretending to hump the seat in front of him.

It was awesome. Actually, I wish I didn't understand what the fuck I was talking about either. Life would be so much more pleasant.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Worthy Old Men

Went to see Elvis Costello and the Police tonight at Sprint Center.

Elvis started things out with a bang. Dance-able, singable, songs and great energy.

The Police were amazing. The lyrics of their songs have always held such meaning, and each song reminds me of a separate instance in my life when it was playing in the background. But tonight they held even more significance as I watched them flow from the lips and between the perfect teeth of a very beautiful man on a very large screen. Sting's voice is as crisp and clear as it always has been, even if he doesn't hit the high notes as he used to, and the music seemed very raggae-tastic (which may have been influenced by the doobie that was being smoked about two rows back). The videographer for the show was in perfect form tonight, and if this night isn't captured and sold on DVD, someone is missing out.

Great night. The annoying dude in front of me could use a clue (I would have paid him $20 to stop tatting ass to Don't Stand So Close to Me - and his bald friend next to him would probably have paid him $50 to stop scratching records on his noggin - total douche), and I really don't think they should sell flashing light toys at any event that doesn't include costumed characters, stories on ice, or boat loads of ecstacy. But it was a seamless production, the music was flawless, and the old men were hot!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Why you should give a shit about kids and their education

(I mean, besides the fact that if you enjoyed school, found it to be challenging and rewarding, or even at least a little engaging, then most likely someone gave a shit about yours . . . )

Neighborhood schools are an essential part of community development. They bring pride to the neighborhood as well as involovement into the school. K-8 education in one building means that kids and families grow up with each other for 9 years and develop relationships, they create longer and more significant relationships with the administration so that discipline problems are decreased during middle school years and better, more individualized guidance is given for high school choice and beyond, it gives the older students a chance to mentor and be a positive role model for younger children. They tie students to their edudcation, not forcibly, but naturally. Neighborhood schools and community schools are the trend in many urban centers that have been looking for ways to improve their student achievement as well as their family involvement, community contribution and overall learning culture.
With Anthony Amato at the helm of the Kansas City Mo School District, there were changes made and feelings hurt and personalities that clashed, but one good move that was made was in the direction of neighborhood schools. Right now, kids are bussed all over town to this school or that one, with no real effort put into creating communities of learning. Kids are at the whim of their parents jobs, or where they can find cheaper rent, or whatever else motivates housing choices. We have a weak sense of community in many parts of our urban core, families have no real reason to stay in one area over another. With the creation of neighborhood schools - schools we can walk to and pick our kids up from without a 30-minute commute or busride, schools that employ residents of our community, schools that reach out to families because they are accessible and close, schools that host neighborhood meetings and social events, schools that view my children as an opportunity, not a challenge - we are giving families a reason to stay in a certain area, giving kids stability and confidence, as well as encouragement to work through their own challenges and a place to do that. With neighborhood schools, we give kids a network of adults, authority figures, and mentors to help bolster their confidence in their own success, assistance when they are struggling and an incentive to stay on course.
With Marilyn Simmons, one of the main opponents to Amato, as president of the school board, many of the positive plans and successful programs of the past few years for the school district are at stake. Not because they didn't work or show promise, but in stubborn defiance of past leadership. Its wrong to do to our kids, its wrong to do to our community. I know there is a lack of interest, a defeatist attitude when it comes to our school district, but this is one program that is already in effect, on its path to fruition, that we can not let die. This immature bs is what keeps KCMSD from getting out of the rut of provisional accredidation, and our local image of failure - but its because we don't say anything and we don't know what's going on that they can do whatever they want without any public discourse - besides us saying that the school board is ineffectual. The school board members have proven to be very effectual at getting what they want and fighting their own battles at the expense of our children and their education.

(Here's to hoping Airick is making some friends!!)

I'm taking in all the happenings in Kansas City and saving you all the trouble . . . I'll let you know whether to soak it up or squeeze it out!!