Friday, February 13, 2009

A little advice, please

So, when a guy comes in to my office to do his taxes so that he can get some cash to pay his prostitute, and she drives away with his car while he's sitting at my desk and he springs out of his seat to chase her down the road and jumps into the passenger side and kicks the bitch to the curb and drives back and parks just in time to catch her fist in the parking lot and the ensuing tussle attracts 3 more SUV's to the parking lot and so she runs into my office to call 911 and tell them she was trying to pull a trick when this guy beat her up and she wants to press charges and starts yelling to the guys outside that they don't know who her man is and they better go before the police get there and I give him his paperwork back as he leaves and politely tell her that I'm closing up for the day because I have to go pick up my daughter and she's mad because I won't wait for the police to come and tell her to find her at her apartment - right next door - but I still let her use the phone to make one more call - to the guy that just left to see if he would pick her up and give her a ride . . . and then the guy comes back the next day to complete his return and apologize and tell me he's really a nice guy (but when a crack whore steals your ride, what else are you to do but kick her ass) and I give him a refer-a-friend card to give to a friend or family member and the prostitute comes back in the next day with it . . .

should I give her the $15 coupon that the card provides, or just go ahead and give her the 20% off local business discount?

(dang, tax season is tough)

12 comments:

Erin said...

oh.
my.
god.

PlazaJen said...

I can hardly see straight, I'm laughing so hard. And so many questions! Like, what sort of deductions can the prostitute take? How does she report her income? Does she pay the 1% KC earnings tax?

Average Jane said...

Wow. I didn't realize how drama-free my work life was until now.

emawkc said...

Well, how much does she have in "unreimbursed business expenses"

Nick said...

hilarious

"The D" said...

Silly Sponge, Hookers don't pay taxes.

And if they do, can they deduct the clothes AND the black tar heroine?

If so Im gonna have to redo mine.

Heather said...

DANG! And I thought I had some interesting work stories...

I'll be contacting you shortly with some tax business. My brother as well.

Spyder said...

LOL!

Stacey K said...

wow! And I used to think tax prep was boring!

funny stuff

Anonymous said...

Awesome. KC is classy.

Do you see me? said...

This is why I miss Kansas City - colorful drama! You are so lucky LOL!

Lisa said...

This would only happen to you Sandie...you have the BEST stories!!!

I'm taking in all the happenings in Kansas City and saving you all the trouble . . . I'll let you know whether to soak it up or squeeze it out!!