Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Reason with me, now, will you . . .

1. KC Sponge: 'The Law School Admissions Test, the purpose of which is to gauge a prospective law student's grasp of logic and reasoning and argumentative skill, will be taken in September now that I have registered for it on the LSAC. It will take many hours of study and preparation to achieve a score that would justify my 4 year journey of craziness. A cold beer sits in my refridgerator waiting to fulfill its own destiny as a quencher of thirst and celebration. On one of these last days of leisure before a semester of stress begins, it would be responsible and selfless of me to quench my thirst and celebrate this next step while completing the mission of another's bottled venture. Preparation can wait.'

The sponge’s argument assumes which one of the following?

(A) The sparkling spirits will make the process of preparation much more tolerable and cool and anyway - took the ACT after her first drinking binge in high school and still got a 32, obviously alcohol kills off the disruptive cells in HER brain.

(B) The liberating libations will not grow warm as she is riddled with guilt over this decision and would therefore fall short of the expectations of the barley malt, wheat, water, hops and yeast that have dedicated their existence to provide her this escape from the enormous pressure to be utterly brilliant.

(C) The LSAT literature makes no specific mention of disallowing alcoholic beverages in the testing centers.

(D) The bubbly goodness that breaks up the grease in pizza will also break up the cobwebs in her brain and will therefore not only NOT be a distraction from her studying but a new-found aid in attentive learning.

(E) The time it takes to write a blog post about an asinine decision will not supercede the time it takes for the entire alcohol content of a 12 ounce beer to be sweat out of her system in an 84 degree house, and therefore she will be completely sober and without excuses and ready to study anyway. great.

Remember - there can be more than one correct answer, please choose the MOST correct and provide supporting argument. . . the bestest answerer will be awarded the rest of the beers in my 6 pack - assuming they're not gone before you decide to freakin comment! =)


"The D" said...

If it’s “Law School Admissions Test” then what is LSAC?

Answers to each
A) You get smarter the more you drink.

B) Drink so fast that you don’t have then time to second guess yourself.

C) But does it “ALLOW” beverages of “ANY” type?

D) Beer makes us all AWESOMEER!!

E) Turn the thermostat down to 65 put on a winter coat. Switch to Scotch!

F) Now wheres my beer LADY!!

Sassywho said...

I'm going with A, when I was still a pharmacy student I studied for all of my pharm exams a little tipsy... one of the most surprising A's I ever received.

JustCara said...

(F) That the boy with the poodle lives to the left of the red bungalow.

(That's all I remember from the LSAT. )

I got through studying for the bar exam on ding dongs and Old Crow bourbon. Everything else I puked up.

KC Sponge said...

The D - it's the Law School Admissions Council . . . what I have determined their role in the whole process is to charge humongous amounts of money for silly tasks and tell you to get used to being raped for money - you're gonna be a lawyer. It's a lesson in empathy. And just to let you know, in a multiple choice arena, only one answer is allowed. No beer for you.

Sassy - very good try . . . but the assumption that her brain responds to alcohol with brilliance totally ignores that fact that she slept with the proctor in her hangover-induced sluttiness the next day and so therefore was probably just given some extra points for her 'flexibility'.

Cara - perfect. You must be a lawyer.

"The D" said...

What no extra credit for all that work? WTF? GAH!

The MU Latino said...

I choose C. Now wait...E. Well, who cares? But, it's definitely not A. Here's a quick story that's probably unrelated but I'll share anyway. I once had a roomie when I was an undergrad that scored a 35 on the ACT. She was a med student, total dork, went to UMKC Med(the worst med school in the country) and flunked 2 twice, still graduated, didn't get matched, and finally had to stay at Truman Med for her residency. She's a doctor now. Great for her! But honestly, I don't even think I'd trust her to park my car let alone diagnose or operate on my body.

Moral of the story: Test scores really don't mean much. Drink up. The worst that could happen is that you'd just turn out to be a bad lawyer, doctor, student, whatever, but the checks would probably still keep rolling in. :) Tehe. Peace.

KC Sponge said...

Thanks, MU Latino - but my entire concept of self worth is connected to numbers. But the significance of these numbers is inversely proportionate to the number of beers I have consumed - therefore, I will take your advice to heart. Prost!!

I'm taking in all the happenings in Kansas City and saving you all the trouble . . . I'll let you know whether to soak it up or squeeze it out!!