Tuesday, July 22, 2008

There's no place like home . . .

Got all these tweets from the meetup tonight and realized how much I miss you folk - and Kansas City for that matter. Thought I'd chronicle a little of my adventures before I'm back on Saturday, and you know, back to the real world - where my responsibilities don't end at five. Most of the time I was working - around the state teaching camps, or working with my parents, or you know, spending time at the beach and stuff . . . but did get around to a couple fun things while I was here. My favorite was last week when I visited my friends Ariel and Hayden down in South Florida . . .thought I was going to dinner with Carl Hiassen, which didn't happen but would have been WAY cooler - but hey, I was hangin with the Little Mermaid, for dog's sake!! Went out for happy hour, had a barbeque at the house, went dancing a couple nights - but the best was on the last night, these two boys came up to me and told me they had been following me since the night before. They begged to buy me a drink and told me that they couldn't believe they were standing there with me - they thought I was a celebrity or something, it was hot! So, my only clue to all of you out there who are looking to start a fan club - just always keep an entourage of hot, young, gay men around and everyone will think you're famous!! What was even better, though, my three friends, is that that first night, when they first thought I was some celebrity, I had been dancing around in my big huge heels and acting the fool - as one should always act when wearing 4" sparkly fuck me pumps - and slipped on Ariel's recently spilled drink and slipped and landed right on my back . . . yes, in the middle of the dance floor . . . yes, landing right in the spilled drink - with my heely shoes straight in the air. . . BUT did I jump up really fast and hide in the nearest corner? NO!! Did I sheepishly stand up and pretend nothing happened? NO!! Did I X my body on the floor - in perfect rhythm and add two chest pumps for flavor - and THEN stand up and cross the floor and do it again in the other corner - never compromising the choreography! OH, yes - Yes, that is what I did. And that folks, is why I have a fan club and you do not. =) But actually even better than that was the next morning when I woke up in a puddle of now-dried confetti under me from all the crap that was all over the floor! Goodness, life is great when you can pretend to be 21 again . . .

Oh, goodness, and before I came back up here to Central Florida I did get to take a 15 mile bike through the Everglades that was amazing and overwhelming and just another reason why I miss Florida so much . . . (did I just say that?) More on this later - you know, like next month.


Hayden and I at the Bear-B-Q

Yeah, we're in love.

Not the president and CEO - but still, two members of my club.

The only gator I could get to pose in the Everglades (all the others wanted to do it on South Beach!)

Driving around, Miami style

At the beach with Jorge

Ariel and I in our first good picture together

Monday, July 7, 2008

Aren't We Cute?


Hey everybody. Yes, that's my new purse. Yes, those are beads of lovliness that are acting as zipper pulls. Yes, it even has animal print AND sequins on it. Yes, it is super cute and wonderful. No, you can't have it. And yes, that is the wall of the Super 8 Motel behind me in fabulous Mulberry, FL - from which I will be traveling to Bartow for happy hour at Chili's - the only thing in town. Two more days of camp here, then on to Tampa for a quick jaunt at the Apple Store where I will wait in line for my new phone (if you don't know THAT story, you have been missing out) and have another 4 day camp where I just get to boss people around and don't have to teach a damn thing. =) Wish me luck in my pursuit of a 3G!! I miss you guys - have a couple hours to kill so will be checking up on ya'll and dropping some comments. See you soon!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Soakin up the Sun


I can't really tell you what's up in Kansas City, because I'm not there, but I'll fill you in really quick with what's happening in my life. I have been in Florida since our last meetup - well, after a four day stint in McPherson, KS for dance camp with my team - have been teaching camps pretty much the whole time, really feeling all thirty of my years after a whole day of dancing followed by a night of drinking and then waking up to a morning of stretching and Zumba. I did go to Universal Studios with my family and spent Fourth of July in Palm Coast at Cinnamon Beach - lovely, lovely, lovely - watched the fireworks over the fort at St Augustine, walked around Old Town remembering my days in fourth grade when I thought that the Fountain of Youth was such a crazy idea - who wants to stay young?! - and enjoying my large, attention deficit, short-fused and crazy family. Said bye to my babies as they headed back to Kansas City while I remain here for the next 20 days - will teach camps for a while longer and stay for my younger sister's 10 year reunion. I have been sunburnt twice, and have perfected my mohawk hairdo, and can't wait to be back to see my peeps. Keep KC crawlin, and I'll see you in a few!!

Oh, oh, oh!!! Went to my neices' dance competition today where they won High Gold and Platinum scores and Kayla won first in her division and 5th overall - then celebrated by going to the outlet mall and finding a beautiful, wonderful, most lovely purse in the world!! Oh yeah, I'll take pictures and post later - never have been more excited for a purchase. =) Oh, and my mom wants to let you know that I have the best mother in the whole, wide world!! See ya'll on the flip side (and by flip side, I mean, back in the real world . . .)

P.O. (post oh's) - For those of you who I have taught how to cut the cheese, be prepared - it's already spreading like wildfire down here. Look for the single to come out on iTunes in no time!!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Spank Dance (or Tatting Ass)

For my good friend, Nuke

In my last post, I confused some people with some lingo . . . I guess I really am too hip for this blogging business. ;) But tatting ass is what I have always referred to when discussing major dorks on the dance floor pretending to be behind a girl - or other guy - and spanking their ass, sometimes in rhythm to the music - but most of the time not. Some major douche bags do it to emphasize a point, sans dance floor - like, "Yeah, she really wants my jock!!" followed by the spank dance. I even think there is a handbook out there - revised for 2008 - that includes the steps to total douchedom . . .

1. Say, "That's what she said!!!"

2. Bite bottom lip and limply nod your head, cocked to one side.

3. Tat that ass!! (Remember - keep mouth slightly open the whole time - preferably lip curled to one side)


Some stupid - namely wasted - girls will try to pull off the same dance with their friends to make them look sexy at the club. But usually the front girl just falls over and the girl doing the tatting feels really bad and starts crying on the dance floor and wishes she had just made out with her friend instead, like every other smart slut out there.

Here's a video that showcases some guys making fun of another guy's Spank Dance. I mean, cause they are way cooler, obviously.



I hope I've cleared this up a little.

As for scratching records, here is a picture of some cute kids learning how to scratch records at a DJ camp in New York City



Now imagine the aforementioned wastoid pretending to do the same thing on his friend's bald head, adding a audible, "wicka, wicka" at inappropriate and ridiculous times in otherwise quite enjoyable music. Then pumping his fist and pretending to hump the seat in front of him.

It was awesome. Actually, I wish I didn't understand what the fuck I was talking about either. Life would be so much more pleasant.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Worthy Old Men

Went to see Elvis Costello and the Police tonight at Sprint Center.

Elvis started things out with a bang. Dance-able, singable, songs and great energy.

The Police were amazing. The lyrics of their songs have always held such meaning, and each song reminds me of a separate instance in my life when it was playing in the background. But tonight they held even more significance as I watched them flow from the lips and between the perfect teeth of a very beautiful man on a very large screen. Sting's voice is as crisp and clear as it always has been, even if he doesn't hit the high notes as he used to, and the music seemed very raggae-tastic (which may have been influenced by the doobie that was being smoked about two rows back). The videographer for the show was in perfect form tonight, and if this night isn't captured and sold on DVD, someone is missing out.

Great night. The annoying dude in front of me could use a clue (I would have paid him $20 to stop tatting ass to Don't Stand So Close to Me - and his bald friend next to him would probably have paid him $50 to stop scratching records on his noggin - total douche), and I really don't think they should sell flashing light toys at any event that doesn't include costumed characters, stories on ice, or boat loads of ecstacy. But it was a seamless production, the music was flawless, and the old men were hot!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Why you should give a shit about kids and their education

(I mean, besides the fact that if you enjoyed school, found it to be challenging and rewarding, or even at least a little engaging, then most likely someone gave a shit about yours . . . )

Neighborhood schools are an essential part of community development. They bring pride to the neighborhood as well as involovement into the school. K-8 education in one building means that kids and families grow up with each other for 9 years and develop relationships, they create longer and more significant relationships with the administration so that discipline problems are decreased during middle school years and better, more individualized guidance is given for high school choice and beyond, it gives the older students a chance to mentor and be a positive role model for younger children. They tie students to their edudcation, not forcibly, but naturally. Neighborhood schools and community schools are the trend in many urban centers that have been looking for ways to improve their student achievement as well as their family involvement, community contribution and overall learning culture.
With Anthony Amato at the helm of the Kansas City Mo School District, there were changes made and feelings hurt and personalities that clashed, but one good move that was made was in the direction of neighborhood schools. Right now, kids are bussed all over town to this school or that one, with no real effort put into creating communities of learning. Kids are at the whim of their parents jobs, or where they can find cheaper rent, or whatever else motivates housing choices. We have a weak sense of community in many parts of our urban core, families have no real reason to stay in one area over another. With the creation of neighborhood schools - schools we can walk to and pick our kids up from without a 30-minute commute or busride, schools that employ residents of our community, schools that reach out to families because they are accessible and close, schools that host neighborhood meetings and social events, schools that view my children as an opportunity, not a challenge - we are giving families a reason to stay in a certain area, giving kids stability and confidence, as well as encouragement to work through their own challenges and a place to do that. With neighborhood schools, we give kids a network of adults, authority figures, and mentors to help bolster their confidence in their own success, assistance when they are struggling and an incentive to stay on course.
With Marilyn Simmons, one of the main opponents to Amato, as president of the school board, many of the positive plans and successful programs of the past few years for the school district are at stake. Not because they didn't work or show promise, but in stubborn defiance of past leadership. Its wrong to do to our kids, its wrong to do to our community. I know there is a lack of interest, a defeatist attitude when it comes to our school district, but this is one program that is already in effect, on its path to fruition, that we can not let die. This immature bs is what keeps KCMSD from getting out of the rut of provisional accredidation, and our local image of failure - but its because we don't say anything and we don't know what's going on that they can do whatever they want without any public discourse - besides us saying that the school board is ineffectual. The school board members have proven to be very effectual at getting what they want and fighting their own battles at the expense of our children and their education.

(Here's to hoping Airick is making some friends!!)

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I'm taking in all the happenings in Kansas City and saving you all the trouble . . . I'll let you know whether to soak it up or squeeze it out!!