Friday, April 18, 2008

I don't feel like eating - so why not FEAST!!

Name a color you find soothing.
Light butter yellow
Using 20 or less words, describe your first driving experience.
No glasses. Driving my mom's car. Me: "Is there a median?" Sister: "No" Big bump. Sister:"Oh, that's a median?"
What material is your favorite item of clothing made out of?
Main Course
Who is a great singer or musician who, if they were to come to your town for a concert, you would spend the night outside waiting for tickets to see?
Imogen Heap or Tori Amos
What is the most frequent letter of the alphabet in your whole name (first, middle, maiden, last, etc.)?
E with 7


My mom just called to let me know that my Aunt Jane died. She's been in Hospice with Colon cancer for some time now, so it was just a matter of time, but it's real now. She's gone. I have never been close to her, I've seen her probably 4 times in my life - the last time was last summer when I was up in Wisconsin meeting my parents after a trip to Chicago. We took a picture with her and my dad, me and Elle. Four generations . . . in my family of short life spans, this was quite a feat.

You see, she is my dad's real mom. She was 16 when she got pregnant (by a visiting German soldier) - and in the quintessential family secret story, she was sent to a 'boarding school' for a year and came back just in time to say goodbye to her older sister, Alice, who was moving to Florida with her husband, Bill, and their newly adopted baby boy. Alice, Bill and Jon would become the 'other' family - the one the rest of the Wisconsin clan would only see at funerals or special occasions. They bought some hotels in Lauderdale-by-the-Sea with Bill's sister, Dorothy. Little Jon would grow up living in these hotels, spoiled by the money the hotels brought in, eating dinner at the most expensive restaurants, watching his parents living the life of wealthy, popular, and out-of-control alcoholics. He spent many nights eating alone at the dock, or sneaking noodles from his Aunt Dorothy, pouring bottles of booze down the kitchen sink and wondering when his parents would come home. His only brother died at 11 days old. He was a very lively young boy, used to the best things money could buy - including clothing and gifts, happiness and friends.

In Wisconsin, Jane grew up and got over her lost baby boy. She fell in love with her sister Betty's husband's brother. Despite his strict Christian doctrine, he 'forgave' Jane her past transgressions, yet insisted no one was ever to know about this tainted past she had. They got married and had 5 kids - 3 girls, 2 boys. The family grew up among the other Quinn's - big family, tight family - and would sometimes remember to wonder about Alice and her little Jonny.

Grandma Alice told my mom the story of Jane when she went into labor with my older sister. She is still not sure today if it was because she was drunk, or felt the need to release the burden of this huge secret, or if it was in fact so that they would have as much family information for the new little baby. My mom was told that no one should know, no one should ever know, until Jane was gone.

My Grandma Alice died before I turned one year old. My Grandpa Bill got remarried and there's a whole other story from there. But my dad just carried on like he had since he was a little boy - by himself, being motivated by money and what it could bring him and his family. He never once told us he loved us without buying us something. He never visited his family in Wisconsin - he went back once for his father's funeral, 20 years ago. The few times we went up to visit, it was just me and my sisters and my mom.

Four years ago, he wrote a letter to Jane on Mother's Day to let her know that he knew . . . she never responded but since then she has sent him birthday cards and Christmas cards, and he calls her every Mother's Day and on her birthday. He found out that one of her sons lives right here in Lee's Summit - when my parents come to visit, we always go out for dinner. When they called him last week to tell him that she wouldn't make it through the weekend, he flew up there to see her. Jane's daughter - his half-sister he's never met, or at least doesn't remember - was in the room the whole time watching over her mom. I know he wanted so badly to say so much and to just hold her hand, but no one would understand why her adopted, half-nephew that they had never met would be weeping at the bedside of this dying old lady. They wouldn't understand his mourning of time lost, his appreciation for giving him a life she thought would be better, his goodbye to his final family member, and his acceptance of his life.

I am so sad for him today. I am sad that he does not have siblings to share in his grief, I am sad that he doesn't feel right going to the funeral, I am sad that he must be thinking of his own mom and dad that he lost so long ago, I am sad that I don't know enough of how he feels to even call him today. I leave tomorrow for Wisconsin to say goodbye to my Aunt Jane, a matriarch of my family, mother to my 2nd cousins, sister of my grandmother I never really met. I'll fly there with three men I don't know, who under different circumstances I would have grown up with, shared meals with, and most likely kicked their asses in Spoons. I will see people at the services who will ask me about my dad, who will wonder who I am and why I'm there, who will look like me, and who I will wish knew this secret I hold.

But it is a secret that will be buried with my grandmother on Monday.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Remember to Change Sponge Regularly

100 posts!!

1 year!!

New Template!!

New Title!!

Why Sponge, you ask?

Many times through this venture, I have been asked by my thousands of fans "Why Sponge? You're not yellow. You don't look particularly absorbant. You're not at all propholactic-y." Well, you know what, devoted devotees . . . I am the sponge because I wanna be the sponge!

I started out just being a commenter on a few local blogs - particularly The Kansas City Post, just after the primary city elections last February. I have never considered myself a political person . . . I mean, I did run a stellar campaign for Senior Class Treasurer that would go down in the books if anyone in high school was paying attention - but I do like the discussions that are sparked because of politics. I love listening to people who are passionate about their views - no matter where they lie or how wrong the are . . . and I empathize with those that fight so hard to be heard and am boggled by the political process and how it continues to resist logical justice. So when I set up an account so that I could comment on blogs, KC Sponge was the handle that made the most sense - I was trying to soak up all I could about the political and community scene in Kansas City . . . one I had neglected to pay attention to before, one that passed me by just as it passes so many people by that don't stand in the middle of the road and dare the traffic to run into them. And really, because I'm an attention whore and wanted people to say, "Who the Hell is this Fucking Sponge?!"

So yeah, this is my 99th and final post on "Law School Bound" . . . sad to see all those hits from people looking for hot law school chicks, or Obama's LSAT score, or 101 reasons not to go to law school . . . but can only hope that the hits for the new site are even better! Thank you all for reading even though I do a piss poor job of posting. Thank you all for being opinionated sons of bitches that make me reconsider my own thoughts and make me wish I had the time or commitment to write some of the amazing stuff I read every day - I wish I just had the time to keep up with all of it.

So, yeah, that's the Sponge . . . soak it up or squeeze it out!! See you on the flip side (you know, the tougher, more abrasive, usually green one.)

10 Things I Want To Do This Year in Kansas City

10. See the Southeast Community Center open up with programming that competes with the suburbs' centers.

9. Watch Airick Leonard West be voted into office and create real change in the school district and inspire others to make a difference against seemingly insurmountable odds.

8. Watch Barack Obama be voted into office and create real change in our country and inspire others to make a difference against seemingly insurmountable odds.

7. Get my degree.

6. Get a new car.

5. Have a big freakin party to celebrate turning 30.

4. Watch Elle graduate kindergarten.

3. Spread tolerance like an airborne disease.

2. Blog a lot.

1. Eat lunch in a new spot each week.

Top 10 Things I Did in Kansas City in the Past Year

10. Took Elle to Crown Center Ice Skating Rink and "What Do You Wanna Be?"

9. Saw Alanis Morrissette and Matchbox 20 at the Sprint Center

8. Brought my dance team to many competitions around the area

7. Attended the Viable Third Anniversary Party at Harper's 18th and Vine

6. Visited the new expansion of the Nelson-Atkins Museum

5. Saw Craig Ferguson at the Uptown Theater

4. Took Elle to Mattie Rhodes for Spring Break camp and went free after school swimming at the Tony Aguirre Community Center

3. Marched in the Brookside Parade

2. All my fun nights karaoke-ing at Missie B's, The Brick, and Paddy O'Quiggley's followed by many late nights at the Foundation

1. All my blogger meet ups . . . they've been great!!

Why I Love This Douche Schnozzle

Cause we're sexy!!

Why I Hate This Douche Schnozzle

Cause he's evil, right?!

Gotta Come Up With a New Title

Thought today was as good a day as any to change the title of my blog . . . still bound for law school, whether its today or tomorrow - but don't think it encompasses what my content is (which I still haven't figured out for myself - another reason to go with a new title - inspiration!) My url will stay the same because I'm still going to sue the f out of all of anyway someday (especially you, the D, for trying to negotiate DIBBS!) I welcome suggestions, but will unveil by the time my 9th post comes out! Who knows - maybe I'm violating all that is holy in Bloggeraut - but fuck it. This is MY blog.

My Favorite 10 posts

I wish I could write these everyday. But then I also wish I could have fried pickles every day.

My First Real Post

Hanging Out With Bloggers Remembering a Friend

My Fucking Bad Luck

Damn this Guy Must Have a Really Hot Brother!

My Kid Is Cute

One Day They'll Get it Right, Right?

I Like To Play Games

Umm, did I say my Kid is Cute - she's Freakin Cute!

I'm Really Good at Studying. I'm Really Good at Drinking Beer. Not so good at Studying While Drinking Beer. Or titling links.

Pick Me Up!

Post #1

Thought I would be able to publish my 100th post on my year anniversary (today!) but don't think it's going to happen. Well, I'll make it happen, but I'm cheating in a big way. But still - 100 posts, about 5 having any merit, is not a big deal, but a lot more than I thought I would do. And I definitely did not post about my journey to law school in more than one. But I have met some incredibly fabulous people and this blogging venture has changed my life - I have met new friends, found new causes, and fallen in love with Kansas City even more. I hope my few readers forgive me for superfluous posts this afternoon, but a girls gotta have goals!

I'm taking in all the happenings in Kansas City and saving you all the trouble . . . I'll let you know whether to soak it up or squeeze it out!!